. room... you... were in.”And I just fell back on my bed squeezing my eyes shut and I thought 'Fuck, what's wrong with me?'And Cait said “You okay...” and I said “No”.Then she said “You wanna meet up?” and it sounded like she was trying to talk through a lump in her throat also and that made me almost howl, and I said “Yeah”.So we agreed to meet at the coffee shop, and I was there forty minutes early and I checked the time on my phone every two minutes and every time I did I felt so stupid. Would having sex with Pete now erase those memories, no, of course not. Would it make them easier to live with……….possibly. Is it something I want to do, in spite of the risk, in spite of the guilt?…………………..Yes!God help me, yes I do. My eyes welled up as I came to the realization that it was, most likely, going to happen. I had never felt more in conflict with myself than I was that afternoon. A little later the phone rang again. This time it was my sweet, loving man. “Hello honey,” she said.. More

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