No one really believed it, so the President's press secretary called and asked me to make a live statement in time for the six o'clock news cycle to c...lm everyone's fears."The fact that I am alive to speak with you all is because of the amazing effort of the Secret Service, California Bureau of Investigation, and the work of the local and State Police. It is true. What you heard about my pocket notebook being dense enough to stop a bullet is really why I am still here today. Other than a. I couldn'tfigure out how I was even supposed to put on this get up properly andwhat was supposed to tie where. I did the best I could and was relieved that there was no suspenders tofurther complicate the issue. Instead there was a pair of thigh highblack stockings. They had a lace top which had some pink and silver silkbows at the top. They were clearly useless but were designed to match therest of the soft lingerie I found myself wearing.I puller on the tight black miniskirt and had to really. More

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