“Because I want to eat you,” the vampire says.“Because he’s going to eat me,” Ned says.“Oh...”Two feet, get moving. Come on, put one foo... in front of the other... “Shouldn’t you sparkle or something?” the girl asks.“Sparkle?” Ichabod asks.“Yeah, sparkle,” Penelope repeats. “You know glow in the sunlight.”“It’s night time for shit’s sake,” Ned cries.“Or the firelight or something,” she adds with a shrug.What magic mushrooms have you gotten a hold of?Ichabod suddenly lets go of Ned and turns. And yet, although all of these behaviors seem fairly mainstream, they’re still considered abnormal in the most recent Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, published by the American Psychiatric Association.“All the behaviors we looked at are classified as paraphilic disorders, which is defined as any intense sexual interest that doesn’t involve genital stimulation or fondling with your partner,” says Joyal. “It’s outrageous that people who are tied up or get turned on by having. More

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