"I want you to choose a locker that is located in the center of the locker room. Once you are done with your shower, you are to proceed to your locker... dress and then you will take this plug and shove it up your ass right there at your locker." A shocked look passed over my wife's face. She knew how busy the gym can get, and trying to put the butt plug in unobtrusively would be an almost impossible task should there be a crowd in the locker room. To make things even more difficult, I gave her a. "I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard."I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.My next crap could spell disaster.Went out last night and got really wasted.I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who was snoring and farting ... so, at least I got home OK.The wife's back on the warpath again.She was up for making a home video last night and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens. More

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