I’m paying a terrible price for being the jerk I’ve been. I want you all to refer to me now as A.H. so I don’t forget what I was and remember wh... I want to be. Are we good?”I thought it was interesting that my team suddenly had some true comradery. Why didn’t I do this long ago? Oh, yeah. I was an asshole.Together with my financial consultant, I reviewed my portfolio and made plans for retirement. In eight months, everything would be in place and the timing would be perfect. My investments,. It kept saying that it wasn't enough. I wasn't sure what to do, but I knew my mind was right.My eyes set upon a thick carrot resting on the cutting board, already peeled and about to be chopped. Abandoning the eggplant for now, I shaped the carrot end to a rough rounded knob, and carved out a narrower neck below it. I coated the end of it with butter. It was the butter I was going to use to sweat the vegetables. My fingers trembled slightly.Squatting over the floor, I prepared to impale myself. More

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