Only this time it wasn’t some thing or some person, it was the damnable unique ache that only a woman can feel when she wants so badly to have a chi...d, but lives with the lingering fear that she cannot. In the weeks that followed, she seemed to wither and shrink with each trip to the fertility clinic, and that pained look in her eyes had almost driven me into a panicked rage at times. I wanted our child for myself and the both of us, but I must admit that I lived with a stubborn determination. " Would it have made any difference if you had known?" I think so. It would have made me feel even more guilt for one thing. And I would have realized that you do love me for me. It was something that you did not do for Marybeth but for me. I went with Ronny because he accepted me for who I am. He didn't want me to be like another wife, or so I thought. And I thought he was again like he had been when we were first married. When I was with him I felt like I did back when I was sixteen and we. More

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