.. It's not even as serious as all that. I mean, it seems like it, but the difference between them and me was so small... so minute. It was ludicrous ...o even bring it up. It didn't happen all the time. Only sometimes... And only with certain guys... Only with certain types of guys. The difference was, I had buttons, and if you knew how to push them, I'd turn into a kitten in a blink of an eye. The white knight fantasy never appealed to me. I had the 'gentleman/tiger' fantasy. A gentleman till. But, for me, when I was a child I had atotal petrifying terror of adult women. My body shook, I couldn't evenget myself to speak to a woman my mother never let me speak or she wouldpunish me. Horribly. I could barely force my body to move. I was just intotal terror in the presents of adult women, so they assumed I wasretarded or some other mental disability. I assumed all women weresadistic and totally Cruel. Like my mother. I don't speak about her buttonight, I decided you do need to know. My. More

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