That was humiliating. If my captor didn't do me in, I might let my own fear do it for him.The understanding that I was falling victim to my own psycho...omatic reactions was a nice intellectual victory, but I still had to fight to regain physical control. Every time I thought I had managed to get on top of things, something else distracted me. The sound of the coals cracking and metal popping startled me each time it happened. I imagined that I heard things crawling and slithering around me, just. And all the rest of us who had seen what happened.Sirens screamed. Police asked questions. In the middle of it, the young mother grabbed an officer's gun out of his belt and shoved it in her mouth. She went to join her toddler.When the police were finally done asking questions, I stumbled away. It was after noon. My stomach rumbled and I made it to a trash barrel to heave again. I stopped at a café a few blocks away and ordered coffee."What do you want to eat?" I looked at the waitress. She had. More

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