I had shown impressive control. I wanted to end the sentence with ‘asshole’ and much more venom than I had shown Friday night. If this wedding did...not happen it would be my father’s fault. I would never tell him that. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I didn’t want him to be proud and satisfied with that accomplishment. I walked over to Sandy, trying to look casual. ‘Is he coming?’ I’m sure I was starting to betray some doubt and fear. ‘Of course, he’s coming,’ she said.. My whole world had been turned upside downand I didn't know what to do to turn it right again. I didn't feelcomfortable enough to get dressed as a girl and go out alone anywhere,so I practiced makeup without getting dressed, and then washed it offas soon as I was done.I kept expecting Tom to show up or at least call but he didn't - and Ileft him a few messages but he never called back. So I sat home, mostlyjust laying on the couch with the TV off, and when my mom came home Ihad dinner with her. More

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