If I win, well you'll see, let's just say you'll get to feelcomplete."This was the point when I had an opportunity to walk back from themetaphorical c...iff edge I was just about to jump off into the sea offemininity that I now swim in. I could have stopped at just wearingpanties, stockings and suspenders and a miniskirt. At least I like tothink I could have.But could I?There's a song by Leonard Cohen called "Everybody knows". It begins with"Everybody knows that the dice are loaded..." and it. Months before hed asked me out but I couldnt do it, I liked him, but as a friend, these days Im not so sure. He keeps trying to get me as his girlfriend and I keep shying away from the question, but now I just dont know, something inside me rears its head when I think of doing things with him. Before the thought of him touching me, even holding my hand made me panic, feel repulsed and I backed away. Im scared, I whispered into his shoulder as he held me close, the musky scent of his skin. More

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