He spent countless hours studying in the library as the sock hanging on the doorknob of his dorm room indicated it was off limits. A constant parade o... coeds came and went for weeks, and just when he thought he couldn’t sleep on the common room’s couch another night, the bimbo brigade came to a halt. ‘Klaus,’ Steve announced to him one evening. ‘I think I’ve found the one.’ ‘The one?’ ‘You know, man, the girl, the right girl!’ The very next day, Callie Alexander entered his dreary life. How. So I was really pleased when Headmaster Crotchety invited me into his private office. Which was just as sucky as the other room but let's not go through all that again. But none of it was as sucky as Headmaster Crotchety who not only didn't offer me a seat but just went on and on about uniforms and standards and bitch-whores and nubile teen temptresses and enlarged members and Mr Carpenter wanking in the staff loos as if I hadn't had to stand and listen to Miss Crossface say exactly the same. More

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