Ashley looked back up at me and when our eyes met, I leaned into her, and we kissed. I wanted to make it happened and I was seriously aroused by the t...ought of making love with her, but there was a long pause and I worried. I didn’t want to go too far, or too fast and I too was at a lost for words, but as her gaze turned back to me, and she turned to face me, she said, “That was nice, I hope you can stay a little while.” It was nice, and I knew she was interested in more than just the ride. Couldn’t pay enough attention to watch TV. Couldn’t write fiction. It was then I started thinking about suicide. You start asking questions. Just how bad am I willing to let it get before I say fuck it? What will living as a cripple cost my family vs living without me? Will my wife love me?I started drawing criteria. One is the ability to read. Reading makes life bearable. Aphasia hadn’t touched my ability to read even though it can so that was a positive. I even considered other modes of. More

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