I felt the tears start. I blinked, trying to control my emotions, to no avail. I felt myself sobbing, the tears flowing down my cheeks. I cradled my h...ad in my uninjured hand, just letting it all out. I finally calmed myself, wiping my nose and mopping my brow with a paper towel. "Is this what my life has come to?" I asked myself. "Sitting here, feeling sorry for yourself. Alone." Where had it gone so wrong. Was I really such a cold-hearted monster?" The questions I kept asking myself were. " I stood and gave Dad and Pat each a hand up. We walked back and shut the generator down. Then we went back to our farm.When we returned, Dad took a bottle of Bourbon and a glass full of ice to the porch and sat down. He poured a drink and swallowed it down. He poured some more but set the bottle to one side to sip now. He said, "That was terrible to see. They committed suicide but didn't realize how painful a death it would be. They tied themselves down and couldn't get loose though I think. More

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