” “Isn't this your brother's place?” Hannah asked. “No, he just stays here, it's a long story I'll tell you sometime, but he’s lived her f...r ten years. It's quite a place and the guy whose apartment it is went away for a few weeks.” Finally, the last ping of the elevator bell let us know we were at the end of the line. “Here we are,” I said as the elevator door opened on the thirtieth floor and we walked down the dimly lit hall to the penthouse apartment. When we entered, Hannah's eyes. To always, always, be. I visited therapists and even spent some time in a mental hospital, trying to fix myself. Trying to get better for him. To be worthy of him. To be good enough. I took the pills they gave me. I worked on my ‘coping skills’. We even visited a marriage counselor. I promised to be a good wife, to listen to him, to keep giving and never, ever stop. After childbearing I found the strain even more difficult. Firstly, my beauty was greatly diminished. Not just my body which. More

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