" he said. "I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard."I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.My next crap could spell disaster.Went ...ut last night and got really wasted.I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who was snoring and farting ... so, at least I got home OK.The wife's back on the warpath again.She was up for making a home video last night and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens. We got into a weekly routine, every Friday night we played poker with two other friends. One particular night my wife had gone out of town with the kids to visit her mother. She was going to be gone until Sunday. All the guys arrived and we had a good game going. We played late into the night. Most of the guys left around 11 pm. Since the wife was out of town, Tom decided to spend the night. “Hey Matt do you still have any pornos?” “Nah, the wife made get rid of them. “Let’s go rent a couple. More

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