I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."* The cost of living has now gotten so bad t...at my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.* A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"* I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different. Everywhere she went she maintained an air of calm, confidence and discipline. She fooled everyone. Except herself. She had to tell somebody, or she would explode. She went to talk to Johnson, one of her friends. He was a nice guy, tall and lean and blond. He was also an intellectual. Sarah knew him well. An odd place for a closeted bisexual to be. Ever since he told her his secret, they’d become each other’s confidantes. Johnson had a huge crush on Ken Muniz, a black guy. Muniz was a basketball. More

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