I held onto him. I gripped him hard. My fingers dug into his hands. The fear dragged at me. This massive weight that wanted to pull me lower and lower...and lower.I shuddered. This couldn't be happening. “I didn't mean for this,” I whimpered. “I didn't know it would cause this, Steve.”“I know,” he said, his face pale. He squeezed my hand. “We're in this together, okay?”I swallowed and felt strength from him. I rose on unsteady feet and faced the triumphant Devil and the Most High. I couldn't read. It is the night when I inflict the real damage. I get stoned quickly so I can savor every little piece of my sanity as it crumbles from me. How does one reach the point when life is no longer fun, unless seen through the eyes of someone not aware of even what he sees? When masturbation is not what it once was, what then can you turn to for solace? It was this question in particular that I pondered that cold November night, when she came into my life.I had just settled onto a stone rock on. More

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